Gwen’s Testimony

I hope my testimony will inspire those who are in need with much encouragement & upliftment, as you seek to break free, facing a similar addiction or situation as I once did & now live with everyday. This is not only for the addict, but also for those loved ones supporting them. This is such a hard trying time for both parties & there is definitely a solution to this fight. The one thing that helps is the desire, will & “want” for changing to be a better person & choosing life rather than death. May it increase & secure the faith, trust & strength of the families, loved ones & friends who need as much support as the person going through rehabilitation. Everything in life has a reason for where we end up. Figuring out the WHY is not as important as the HOW. We can only take people to heaven, the rest is trivial.

Shekinah was the one place that will hold the biggest impact in my life other than the birth of my daughter. I am 36 years old & proud to say that I’m a recovered cocaine addict living a normal, healthy & balanced life. I have been clean for 7 years now & doing very well. I am engaged to an amazing man & my daughter is more beautiful than ever. I still have my challenges every day through which I persevere by leaning on the good Lord Thank you to all the staff at Shekinah during my stay there, who fought for me with love when I had given up. The difference that they all individually contributed in changing my life words could never describe. Thanks for showing & teaching me that I deserved better, but mostly THANK YOU for introducing me to Jesus! With hidden terror & severe denial I walked into Shekinah, a substance abuse centre specifically dealing with chemical dependency. Like all addicts, I was clueless about how bad off I was, even after two near fatal overdoses I still tried to deny my problem – I was standing knocking loudly at death’s door. For so many pitiful years I minimized my cocaine abuse & eventually my addiction. I blamed it on people, places, events & any other pathetic excuse or situation I could possibly think of at that time in my life. I had spent the majority of my life using & abusing cocaine which resulted in full blown addiction.

I started using at 17 and it came to an end at 29. The damage, chaos & destruction it caused no one person can begin to imagine. When I came to Shekinah, I simply wanted to “detox” & get back to my life as fast as possible. At the time this didn’t seem too complicated – Somewhat scary, but reasonable. A “quick fix” initially planned for 28 days developed into a stay of a few months… The fight of my life!

No one person behind those locked gates or doors cared about my past or how I ended up here in “rehab”. The guests, like me were there for a similar or exact reason facing their own nightmare. I was fine with them. I didn’t care much for their “war stories” though. The other people who made me uncomfortable & who I thought were the enemy were the staff.

I was not fine with having them around. However, these were the very people I would learn from – To me this was the most “foreign unfamiliar” environment I had ever been in – I didn’t know how to operate in this world – for the first time in my life I was in a place that I couldn’t cope & there was no “coke” to make it work or numb the emotion. There was no exit. But there my life was going to change, THE HARD WAY… however with glorious result.

Today my worth is no longer defined by what others think. My value & self respect come from the Honorable Lord who created me. There are still moments when I feel scared, fearing that I might withdraw into my past again un-noticed, never having love, being rejected & back on “coke”. The difference that keeps me from that, is I now know that to disperse this anxiety, I must discover positive healthy ways to give myself away, to let go of the focus on myself & do beautiful things through God’s power. Those are the moments I go to God & in His Name to others. This is now the ultimate source of all my joy & significance. I don’t regret nor can I change & undo the failures of my past, it’s done. My future is in God’s hands & every new day I carry my cross. I have my ‘NOW” moments & what I do today will determine my tomorrow Through God’s grace & love my daughter remains sweet & innocent in her love, after the all the trauma & change of my addiction & recovery.

I know one thing for sure, God is Sovereign. He is good. He sees the big picture & never makes mistakes. Through the pain miracles were born. Strength & security do come & I will always WAIT & TRUST in Jesus. I no longer need drugs to dull or escape my reality or pain no matter what the blows of life WILL bring. I know who my anchor is & that IS ENOUGH. This is my story of salvation & a journey of self discovery to my heart, led by God to set me free. My chains of bondage are gone & I am saved. I love to experience the very presence of my NEW life & God cleansed my once dark confused heart filling it with warmth & deliverance, showing me I deserve life & love. I am fearfully & wonderfully made in Jesus Name. NOTHING is too hard for the God of the Universe!

Pamela's Testimony

I was never a drinker of alcohol or a smoker until I married my husband, who smoked cigarettes. I soon picked up the habit, and quite enjoyed it. We have two children, and I had a half day job that gave me time in the afternoon with my youngsters. Then my husband changed jobs and had to travel a lot and was away from home for up to two weeks at a time. I became depressed and a friend suggested I join their social circle. They smoked dagga, and from cigarettes this was not too drastic a change for me, but I soon became hooked, but the depression instead of going away, worsened, and I started neglecting my children and household matters. My husband could not understand what was happening and falsely accused me of having an affair. This really upset me and on his next trip away after a heavy dagga smoking session I actually was so stupid I actually did end up in bed with another man, but it was a sordid messy experience, as we were both under the influence of dagga, but agreed we would have to meet again. The next day again under the influence of a heavy bout of smoking dagga it ended up a threesome with this man and his brother. This continued for quite some time, and all the time my health seemed to be getting worse. Ironically I was putting on weight, even though I was not eating normally. Then my worst fears came to pass.

My husband found out about the affair as well as the dagga smoking episodes. He left home with our two children and forbade me to see them until I had sorted my life out. My mother suggested rehab, as a break away, and also for the support to get my life back into some sort of order. I spent some time at Shekinah where I had to deal with these issues.

It was not a miraculous transformation but I know I left in a much better state than I arrived.

Seeing a change in attitude and genuine remorse, my husband allowed me time with my children, and I begged his pardon which eventually he gave. I am now back together with my family, where I belong. The smoking of cigarettes did not stop straight away, but I was down to 3 or 4 a day after leaving Shekinah, from the usual 18 to 20 before.

But I am thankful I have not had any dagga since admitting myself for treatment. My weight has stabilised at more or less what it should be, and I am feeling a lot healthier, eating properly, and spending quality time with my children.

I wasted over two years of my life, and these were lost to me at vital stages of my children’s growing up. But I am thankful that through all this my husband was and is gracious enough to accept me back into the family. I can honestly say, knowing it was my own entire fault, but the dagga smoking, which lead to drinking alcohol, something I had never done before, is what brought about all the turmoil and tears for those two years. I have now been over five years without smoking or consuming any alcohol, having stopped together with my husband some 8 months after leaving rehab. We are both much the better for it, and this year 2015, my eldest starts his matric year. I know there will still be many new challenges that lie ahead, but I can face them with a clear mind and clean heart and I am grateful. I found God, through Jesus whilst at Shekinah, and I thank Him for the change in my own life and enriching our family. The unity we find in God and the fellowship of our local church is what keeps us together. His grace is bountiful and I praise and thank Him for his blessings in my life.

Rishi's Testimony

I started smoking as a teenager at school. First it was just cigarettes or rolled tobacco, but after leaving school this grew to become a dagga and tobacco mix. I enjoyed the mellowed out did not care less feeling this gave me and was soon smoking dagga straight. After a while I needed more so began using buttons (mandrax) with the dagga. My throat ended up burning whenever I drank anything fizzy, so I guess you could say I graduated onto cocaine. My work time became erratic and I lost my job. I did not really care. I was now just smoking cigarettes, dagga and using cocaine.

I got bust robbing a scrap yard dealer with my mates, to try and get some goods to sell in exchange for dagga and cocaine, and whilst on bail awaiting my court case my brother suggested I check into a rehabilitation centre. He had heard about it on the radio. I had no money but he and my father paid for me to go.

The withdrawal was terrible, and I struggled with convulsions, and on a number of occasions contemplated suicide. The staff always talked me out of any such nonsense and even when I left the Centre after treatment, they remained in touch with me and were available to talk me through my low moments. A turning point was when pastor Roly shared about Power – and the military display he had experienced. But that was nothing compared to the power of the Holy Spirit in one’s life. And it is this power that will enable us to live a drug free life. That was the power I needed, and that night I made a commitment to serve the Lord.

In the court case that followed shortly after I had finished the course at Shekinah, the owner of the scrapyard in agreement with the magistrate, who let us off with a stern warning and suspended sentence, actually employed all three of us. He said that way he could keep an eye on us. Unfortunately my mates soon packed the job up; they are still smoking dagga and are battling to cope with the reality of life. As for me I have been given a second chance and I have not had any dagga or cocaine since the initial court case. That was a few years ago now. I do not think that I have it all made, and realise that it could be easy to slip back into the old ways. But I work hard and try to keep out of trouble. My mates are not interested and I see them getting worse by the day. They are running from the law, and the police are forever asking me questions about them. The one fellow has spent some time in jail, but they will not listen to me and do what I did. They think I am just scared. Maybe they are right, but I am not the one running away from the police and doing dirty tricks.

I may not be earning the best, but my boss and I get on well and my family are satisfied that I am working honestly, and it makes me feel good. I have also been able to start a relationship with a great girl I met in a local church, that could get serious, and I know I would not have had the chance to meet her if I was still smoking dagga and snorting coke.

God has been good and gracious to me, and I thank Him each day for the second chance of life, that He has given me.

Anita's Testimony

I have learned the story about the Prodigal Son, but in many senses I was a prodigal daughter. My background is a middle class White suburban upbringing but in last two years of schooling started hanging around with what I now see as the wrong crowd. How I passed my final year of schooling I am not sure how except that God must have brought me through as for me it was a sort of blur. Did not get the results expected, but hey it was a pass!

My father was not home much as he traveled often in his job, but he was always there, when home that is, and available, but through the years grew estranged from him, and my Mom although a good woman was not godly at all and had a number of affairs whilst my father was away on business. He only discovered this many years later. With parents so occupied in their own lives my older sister and I sort of had much leeway to do our own thing. unfortunately many times the wrong thing but no-one seemed to notice too much. I fell pregnant shortly after leaving school and not too sure who the father was decided to abort the baby. This led for me to many feelings of guilt and unfortunately more and more over the counter drugs being consumed. Especially a particular brand of cough syrup. However the costs of purchasing this cough mixture was more than what I was earning in my job in a travel agency. So I started running up accounts with different pharmacies. Not a difficult thing in a city like Johannesburg and its suburbs.Problem arose when I had some 70 accounts at different pharmacies and owed the equivalent of about 4 months salary in total between them all, and I lost my job. Parents got upset when they discovered some of their household possessions in a local pawn shop, and that is when I ran away to Port Elizabeth with a fellow who said he could hook me up with some work there. Without going into detail it was sleazy and I was highly ashamed of this work, but it earned enough to keep my addiction satisfied, and a dribble every now and then to the pharmacies that I owed money.

When my sister, deeply concerned about me, gave me a surprise visit with her fiancee and saw the deprivation that I had sunk into, she hastily made arrangements and before I knew it I was on a bus to Shekinah and their rehab courses. There I experienced love and care and genuine concern for my personal needs that I had long forgotten existed.

After battling through withdrawal after about three weeks I could start thinking more clearly without my mind being befuddled with drugs, and saw my need of Divine intervention in my life. I surrendered to God and that was a turning point in my life. I learnt that although Christ said he would be with me through all trials and problems and personal and family issues, He never said He would take them away. But my experience was that he was a comfort to me through all the challenges that faced me. I wish I could say that everything was smooth and easy once I left a prolonged stay at Shekinah that my sister so kindly sponsored, but it was not. The main issues have been resolved. family relationships although still strained are slowly healing and I can laugh together in the company of both my mother and father. My sister has always been close tome and never gave up praying for me. I visited every single pharmacy where I had accounts outstanding, and even though some of them had written off the debt I owed, I have made promise to return every cent I owe them. The Lord gave me a job, as an assistant in on of these pharmacies, and I know that the Lord says that we should not place ourselves in a place of temptation, but the owner is an elder in the church I attend, and he says he can be a watchdog over me. At the time of writing this testimony I have repaid about 90% of the debt, as well as repurchased most of the stuff of my parents that I had pawned. I even went to the house of someone who had bought some of our stuff, and after relating my story they willingly sold the goods back to me. It has been a long 8 years since I completed the rehab courses, but there is something to live for each day. God has given me a hope for the future, and that hope is drug free.

God has been good to me. He has given me a second chance that many people do not get. I love Him and attend church fellowship regularly, and have even bought a small second hand car to get around. The cravings for the drugs have gone completely, but I know that I am still a work in progress with many issues that still need sorting out. But I thank the Lord every day for His love for me, and that he did not just throw me on the rubbish dump. But He gave me a caring and loving family and friends who have been, and continue to be a support to me. To Him all the glory and honour for the gift of a new drug free life He has given me.